Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
