you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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