Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
