the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
