Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
