What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
