Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
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