There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
