ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
