I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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