once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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