Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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