the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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