but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
i want to swaddle you in tequila
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize