a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
