he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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