Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
