my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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