how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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