I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize