I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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