garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
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