I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
