I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
