I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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