i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
