Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Is it because I queefed?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
