I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
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