There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
