I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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