I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Randomize
