I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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