The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
