you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Let's get the cat blown out
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
