dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Sorry about my life...
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
