I wish my penis had an off switch
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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