i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
