just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
