At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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