just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
