when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Randomize
