My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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