apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
