This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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