I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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