I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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