I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
