his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
