Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
