she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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