so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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