Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
honey bunches of taint.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
