I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
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