Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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