The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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