playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
