She announced her abortion via fbk
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
